How to help your teen build confidence

And why teen summer camps are the perfect way to do it

More than ever, teens are feeling nervous and anxious about school, relationships, trying new things, and generally being uncomfortable. Many schools have responded by offering more accommodations to reduce stressors—like giving unlimited time on tests, extending deadlines, or excusing students from challenging projects and presentations.

While well intentioned, constantly shielding kids from discomfort can cause more long-term harm than good. Some educators and psychologists argue that when we regularly make things easier to “protect” kids from anxiety, we send two unintended messages:

That the thing they’re anxious about is truly dangerous when it’s not (like public speaking or eating lunch in a crowded cafeteria), and
And that we don’t think they can handle the challenge.

Letting kids avoid hard things teaches them to doubt their own abilities. That’s the wrong message—and it sets them up for greater anxiety down the road.

When we give kids an “out,” we are robbing them of the chance to learn, grow, and become more well-rounded, capable people. Avoidance is not the answer.

We all want the best for our kids—to see them grow up to be happy and healthy. And when we allow them to be uncomfortable, or even fail at first, they learn valuable, life-long lessons:

That they can overcome challenges.
That they are stronger and more capable than they thought.
And that fear and anxiety often fade once we face them head-on.

What does this lead to? Greater confidence.

Think of the Red Car Theory

It’s a simple metaphor for how our brains work. Once we start intentionally looking for red cars, we see them everywhere. They’ve always been there, but now we notice them because our brains have been trained to look.

Opportunities for kids to grow and build confidence are just like those red cars. They’re all around us—but we have to be open to seeing them and giving our kids the space to experience them.

Set clear and achievable goals
From homework to athletics to chores, help your child know what’s expected of them. Acknowledge and recognize the small wins along the way, and praise them for the specific steps they’ve taken toward success.
Embrace community
The research is clear: Strong, in-person relationships are crucial for well-being—especially at a young age. Online communities can’t replace face-to-face friendships and mentorship. Give your child opportunities to be part of real communities that foster belonging and support.

Don’t be afraid of change
Change can be intimidating. But life moves fast and unexpectedly. Model flexibility and show that stepping outside your comfort zone leads to the most rewarding experiences.
Be curious
Show curiosity about the world. Try new things yourself—whether that’s cooking a new recipe, taking a class, or exploring a new place. When kids see adults learning, experimenting, and sometimes failing—especially with a sense of humor—they learn that growth is a lifelong and worthy endeavor.

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Why our role-modeling matters

Psychologists call it observational fear learning: Children often develop fears simply by watching the adults in their lives react fearfully to situations. If a child sees a parent scream at a spider or hear them say, “I could never do that,” they may internalize the same fear—even without experiencing it themselves.

If we model avoidance, our kids learn avoidance. But if we model courage, calm, and confidence, they’ll absorb that instead. When your child faces something difficult—like presenting in front of a class, performing in a play, or going to camp without a friend—resist the urge to “rescue” them. Instead, encourage them to work through it with your support.

The message they’ll receive? That you believe they can do it.

Why teen summer camps help build real confidence

This is exactly what experiences like Adventure Treks are designed for. Out in the wilderness with their peers, teens face real challenges—hiking with heavy packs, cooking for their group, summiting mountains, and learning to rely on one another. They learn that courage isn’t necessarily the absence of fear; rather, it’s bravely moving forward despite it.

When they’re encouraged by instructors and surrounded by friends who believe in them, teens will build resilience, independence, and teamwork in ways that can’t be replicated in a classroom. Each success, no matter how small they think it might be, rewires their brain and proves to them that they can do hard things. We hear it all the time from our students.

At the end of the day, we all want the same thing for our kids: to be happy, kind, confident, and capable. They won’t get there by avoiding stress, but they can if we allow them to meet it with courage and our support.

The more we notice their bravery, the more red cars of confidence we’ll both see.

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